Are you a chocolate doll dating a White man? Congratulations on getting past the first hurdle of putting your races behind and following your heart. Dating is tricky business and interracial dating is even more so. We have come a long way from the abolishment of slavery and legal permission for interracial marriages but society still frowns upon an interracial couple. Black women are subjected to heavy onslaught by many Black men and women for being superficial and biased, just because they didn’t find a Black man for themselves. It is still a long way to go if you’re planning on going all the way to your White man’s altar.
Here are some tips for Black women dating White men:
Do Not Rush
Interracial dating for many is a restricted territory they fantasize about exploring one day. Black women have secret imaginations about the appeal of a White man and vice versa. Jumping into the bed with preconceived sexual fantasies isn’t a good idea when you have not explored each other personally. Worst still, you may turn out to be embarrassingly wrong.
Spend time at the beach, coffee shops, libraries and movies together and get to know each other on a deeply personal level. Always remember that fantasies die down once fulfilled and are no longer motivations to stick together.
Even when steering clear of sexual fantasies do not have each others’ friends and families in your first few meetings. People can say and feel anything about you two and unless you’re strongly into each other, your dating is going to take a crash landing.
Do Not Force
There are good chances that owing to racial differences you also have vast cultural differences. Let in your White man slowly and gradually into your life. Do not take him to a clandestine rap or hip-hop club on your very second date where he is likely to feel singled out. Go to places that are racially neutral and spend quality time together.
Undoubtedly, a woman’s physical beauty is the first attribute a man looks for when dating. Look beautiful for him and most importantly feel good about yourself. It is not every day that a man gets to see a self-assured pretty woman. When a White man gets to know that you love yourself, he will be confident that you will make a good date instead of wrecking your happiness with low self-esteem.
If he really likes you, he won’t mind your bad hair days. But if he feels you’ll look better if you lose a few pounds, hit the gym right away. Everyone has different concepts of beauty. Be yourself, but try to understand his preferences as well. If he likes one of your dresses even if you feel two shades darker in it, wear it nevertheless.
Close Your Mind to Negative Comments
Prepare to have brothers cry foul when you two walk together down as street hand in hand. Understand the fact that your White date will earn you quite a many dirty stare from White girls. Many people don’t take kindly to interracial dating. Other blacks may blame you for going out of the race and for being racially biased against Black men. Never fall in to these ramblings. As long as you are dating a man for his qualities and not his color, it doesn’t matter whether he is Black or White.
Allay His Apprehensions About Himself
It is a widely speculated fantasy that Black men are better endowed for the sack than White men are and your White man most probably has the same fears. He may foster ill-conceived beliefs that he isn’t good enough for you sexually as a Black man would have. Boost his self confidence with encouraging comments and acts during your lovemaking session. Let his have his treats and just enjoy him treating you back!